written memories

oh man, knackeredd from basketball. like 110% dead..but mannn was basketball FUN!!

But anyway, just really want to take the time to write on this blog, because my blog is really where I like to store special moments, and thoughts; like my journal.

Pastor Chris spent his time talking to us about the importance of having written records of our thoughts, and events which occured in our lives, because it's true - we as humans forget, just like that. For me, I like to take notes during the times which God's Word is revealed to me, whether it be at YPG, Discipleship, or whenever, because I know the reality of this problem. Heck, to be honest, my memory span probably doesn't last for more than 24hours! I have chosen this to be something I work at though, because think about it, you have about..4-5 messages a week being presented to you, every week...which means like 200+ messages a year, and you wonder how much you could remember what you've been able to remember from that year. scary huh? I mean, sure you probably wont be able to remember each and every single one, but there should be no excuses to not make an effort to!

For Moses, he took the time to make written records, especially after Israel's deliverance from Egypt, describing each detail of the event, because it was a special occasion. I like to do this aswell, and if you notice, I've managed to record some special occasions in the last year or so on this blog; from my 16th birthday, to the school ball, and stuff like that.

Today though, I just want to remember the thought that crossed my mind when I made this remark to me. Just last week or the week before, Aunty Aldine was next to me getting lunch (yeah, i was getting seconds coz im fat >_>) and she just made a small remark "It's good huh that you can come here camp and stay back afterwards" and I was like "yeah".

As I pondered on the remark Aunty Aldine made, I began to think of why it is that I CAN come back to Bethel. You know, over these past few months, God has so gracriously provided for me; not just with food, shelter, lovely, christian friends, and all the like, but He has provided me with wonderful people who would give me transport, to and from church, day in and day out. Without these people, I wouldn't be able to make most of the services I attend, and I wouldn't be able to serve God like I do now at Bethel. So I really thank you all for being such a blessing, and I do hope that these little, meaningful things you guys do for me, and many others who often dont have transport, don't become things that I, or anyone take for granted! And I pray that you guys would not grow weary of doing these righteous works (2 Thess 3:13) :D ..although we might add to your petrol bill :p haha.

Anyway, gonna sleep like a fat baby now coz I'm so tired - physically,mentally, so goodnightttt! :D

woo, and i've finally finished TEE, officially! haha, pretty good feeling to have it all over and done with. And I guess giving God all the credit is most important in all this, because I cannot tell you how much of the exam was really Him and not me!

I mean there are times when the thought of you doing well comes across your mind, but we must all remind ourselves in all things to develop a humble heart, for God opposes the proud and raises the humble :)

Yeah, last night I was really scared..for the first time ever, in preparation for a japanese exam. Usually this would be my most comfortable test, but last night, I began getting scared for no reason, for the first time in all my exams, and thankfully I have all you brethren to encourage me. You guys may not realise it, but even a small word of encouragement here and there really makes a big differrence in times when you need them most! So I thank each and every one of you who have kindly given me encouraging words over these past weeks especially!

Last night I thankfully found a good, comforting verse. It's the shares the same thought as Phillipians 4:6 which Lionel shared with me in my cbox (" Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, in prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which trandscends all things, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus"), but it's actually from 1 Peter 5:7 - " Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you". It's very straight forward verse and as you really dwell on the truth of it, it's really comforting. And I thank God that I was able to find that comfort, that strength, and that ability to do my best today during my last, Jap exam.

Anyway, I'm free now! haha. I guess I should really dwell on this "freed" topic more huh :p

finishhhhhhhh...almost. haha.

weeeee im pretty happy atm. I just finished my 2nd last exam for...ever.
So cool. so much time to do whatever I want now :D like..have lunch with mates for an hour, play basketball for two, and go to the gym for another two right after the exam. hahaha. funfunfun.

Oh, and thankfully the exam today was pretty easy. I was kinda worried coz applic isnt really that strong of a subject, and everyone was super worried about all the hard exams in the previous years, but I guess God really is gracious huh?

Anyway, looking to bum around. What to do.. haha.

haha just thought I'd share something I found awesome as I read through 2 Thess 2 again.

you know how it talks about the coming of the antichrist and stuff right, but look at this part of it:

"The coming of the lawless one will be in accordance with the work of Satan displayed in all kinds of counterfeit miracles, signs and wonders, and in every sort of evil THAT DECEIVES THOSE WHO ARE PERISHING. They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved."

I just realised when I read through it again that the works of satan - his false miracles, signs and things will only deceive those who are are perishing; those who refused to love the truth and be saved. For those of us who are truly saved and know God, love the truth and cherish it, we won't be deceived! How cool is that :D

anyway, off to study! hehe.

reflections

Wow, its been a long time hey.
I'm thinking I might just kick this blog back alive starting...uh..soon. since I'll be finishing school anyway. hehe.

I just came home from dinner with my dadd, so good. I have a four day break from my last exam til my next, so I was able to take the weekend off this week and catch up with my family...finally.

These times I spend, I really thank the Lord for hey. I mean I had dinner with my mum and sis friday night aswell for the first time in a long while, and today with my dad for the first time in a gazillion years and when I think over all these things, I begin to really cherish these thoughts and time we spend together more. Yknow, God has provided me parents who are always there for me, supporting me, providing for me, feeding me, clothing me, labouring for me, encouraging me... and I really can't express how thankful I am to have such wonderful provision.

Today as I was eating..I felt so..sad. Not like a bad sad, but like a really..cherishing sad. I finally spent time with my dad for dinner - coz eating together is 'our thing'. Like most of the time i actually spend with him we dont talk much( not coz i dont want to talk to him or anything, but like my dad always spends 7 days a week for 12-14hours at the shop working (and even more at home doing paperwork!) for me, so we dont really have that much to talk about.) But despite all this, today as I was eating I was really like, wow hey, this time is so valuable. Sure we're just munching away, and not talking much, but even if we can just eat together like this, it's such a cherishable memory to me. One day I can look back and reflect on the days that I spent eating with my dad and even if it is something as simple as that, I truly cherish it.

I really can't thank the Lord enough for allowing this hey. Sometimes we just don't realise the things in front of us and take everything we have for granted. It's only when you lose it, or when you find that you're unable to spend much time doing this or that, that you begin to realise how much it really means to you. Sometimes just a little reminder is great hey? :)

and man this last week I also want to thank the Lord. As some of you may know I had 4 exams in 4 days, and note that each of these exams i sit are actually worth 50% OF MY YEAR.
I still have two more, but luckily I got a bit more time to spend studying for those, hence why I'm blogging now :p

But anyway, if you know me, you'd probably know that I'm very sleep sensitive, and usually need quite a bit of it, if not I cant focus during the day, get cranky and stuff. This week, despite really having retarded sleeping patterns (like sleeping 5 hours every 2nd day, and 7-9 every other day), God's really given me strength to study and focus. Most of all, He's comforted me so much. I was telling Lilian the other day how surprisingly, despite knowing how much my exams were worth and stuff, I DID NOT FEEL NERVOUS FOR A SINGLE EXAM! How insane is that?
And no, it's not coz people say that im supposed to be some supergenius (which im not), but really coz I was able to find that comfort in God's word.

Throughout the last few days, I'd always keep these verses with me:

1) Jeremiah 29:11-12 "For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."

2) Luke 1:37 - "For NOTHING is impossible with God."

3) John 15:7-8 "If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples."

I knew that God had plans for me. I'd try my best to study, and I believed that NOTHING is impossible with God (especially with studies), and that He will give what is right in His eyes for us that we should bear fruit and show ourselves to be His disciples. But I also knew that no matter what happened, even if i were to for some reason not do well, that God does have a plan for me, and that He will keep me from harm and prosper me. And really these thoughts just eradicated every bit of nervousness I had! It's so wonderful to be able to have the Lord comfort me like this. I guess that's why He's called the God of all comfort in 2 corinthians 1 huh? :)

Anyway, I'll keep it at this for today. I should probably try sleep..I had a bad sleep last night and am super energy-sapped. I hope that God continues to reveal Himself to me like this, and continue to strengthen me in faith and in all I do, especially as I seek to revise my testimony for my reaffirmation. And I hope, just as we learnt in sunday school today that I may not grow weary in doing good works (or in my attempt to do good works anyway). May you continue to bless O Lord :)

God Bless

Wow, just wow.

I just had a man to man chat with my dad less than 2mins ago before dinner, and it just brings me joy to know that for once this chat was really christian fellowship. Christian matters weren't really something we talked about much with our family, it was only a church thing, but today for me to be able to talk to my dad and relate to him, and be the person he can talk to and listen to his problems just as he would have suffered so much for mine, it brings me joy.

How great it is to know that despite my dad's weaknesses, imperfections, the Lord is still working in Him. We were talking about the divorce my parents underwent a while back, and even now, it pains me to know that it happened mainly because my dad was working so much, 4.30am-830pm to provide for the family that our in-family relationships weren't kept healthy.

But really, it's all part of God's plan. Often i asked why, why did this breakup have to happen to me and so forth, but really when you look at it, it was only for the greater good. Who wouldve been able to cope with parents arguing every night? I couldnt. But now that the breakup happened, the kids in our family have really gotten alot closer to each other, and though not necessarily the case with my sisters, ive been able to really get closer to my parents. For me to now finally be able to be someone my parents can talk to when they're down or troubles, it really brings me joy; instead of me being the one always cramming them with problems and complaints. If the breakup didnt occur, i dont think i'd ever be able to be so close with my parents in this way. And really for me to be able to return the same comfort they've always given me back to them, im glad.

And it makes me think now, of my reading of 2 Corinthians. In 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. ". Really to be able to share the comfort we receive from God with others, its a good feeling.

And I'm glad that I can really see God working in my dad's heart, and I hope it continues to stay that way. You know, he even managed to say to me at one point after explaining how this and that bad happened "..I dunno. Maybe God's just testing me.". And to hear him say that, and to know that he's even thinking that way rather than despising God for everything like he was a couple years back, is just so great.

Anyway, just to everyone I wanna share 2 Corinthians 1:5 with you.
In 2 Corinthians 1:5 it reads: "For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort OVERflows."
It says that, and it's obvious that because of the ways of the world, we will suffer because of, and for Jesus, but just as these sufferings flow into our lives, also through Christ comfort (which is also His blessings upon us, coz even comfort is such a blessing) OVER flows. Yes, OVERFLOWS :D That's to say that really God's blessings are so abundant, that no matter how much we struggle and stuff the reward set out for us is far greater that it! How great a thought is that :)

Well, that's all for me for now.

Anniversary weekk!

Wow, its really been such a fabulous week this past week.
I really just wanna blog coz I don't want to forget it.

First was Fathers day, which was remarkable.
As I did my best to really make it a special day for my dad, the day could not have gone better if the Lord had not been with us at Bethel. From the meaningful singing of the mothers in our church, to the wonderful composition/duet from charlene/michelle foong, to the meaningful testimony given by jonathan before the youth choir sang You Raise Me Up, it all really came together really really well.
You really saw how much each and every person in the congregation had been impacted through the tears they shed. And I myself really was trying my hardest, keeping my eyes shut because I wanted to man up to the tears too :p
Oh How great a God we have!

then second was Pastor Chris's ordination. This day was really great too. The quartet sang great, and it was really just a priveledge (as Jewel also says) to be able to see a pastor being ordained, coz its not somethingi that happens everyday.

and last but not least, the anniversary. Bethel's Fifteenth year of ministry.
Really, this day was just unexplainable. Most of us were tired from the preparations that took place beginning tuesday, and continuing everyday til thursday night, and alot of people were really moody when we came early for rehearsals. But just thanks be to God for his blessings upon us.

Really, on this day, everything was breaking down, even just minutes before the service was to start. Choir actions were going out of time, our singing wasnt strong enough, we weren't able to successfully memorise our discipleship recitations, and stress levels had gone way up for alot of people, especially Aunty Aldine (that poor lady). Everyone was scared, and even as the service was about to begin Natalie, Amanda and I sat down shivering, just stressing. But i really feel that this was all part of God's plan. It was because of thsi fear that we turned to God for help, and he answered us. He allowed us to perform BETTER than ANY previous rehearsal we had, and not a signle mistake was made on the day! How great is that? he didn't let everything fall apart, nor did He just make it work out, but He actually made everything go PERFECTLY, and BETTER than we had ever wanted it to be! Oh the joy it brought to the soul to know that the Heavenly Father had done that!

Really, even after the service, it was just so great to see the smiles on everyones faces. REAL, MEANINGFUL smiles of joy which could not have been brought to us other than from God. How wis He is to create this situatioin on us and to teach us to trust Him through these ways.
I praise God, who despite all our sins, mistakes, and our taking Him for granted, has stuck by us and loved us unconditionally and continues to draw us near to Him.

And lastly, Thanks be to God for allowing us as a church to grow, to come together, and for allowing a sinner like me to be even worthy of giving Him praise, and for providing me with such a loving, and caring spiritual family that I can even talk to my friends and share with them my faith, and run the rac with them without fear!May He continue to work amongst us each and every day that Bethel may grow to be even stronger!

and really, I don't know what esle to write. This joy has really been so unexpressable. I pray that this joy may not be taken from me, and that God continue to work in my life that I may one day be a blessing to others :)

Amen.








hmm..ill use this chat with jewel as my self reminder of my attempt to explain my joy :)

"jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
=) did you have any God-thoughts today? haha
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
maths
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
i think i told you before right!
Chriso. says:
oh yeahh :P forgott
Chriso. says:
haha
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
did you tell pastor Chris that you were going to email him about corinth?
Chriso. says:
nope..
Chriso. says:
God-thoughts
Chriso. says:
i was just thinking
Chriso. says:
well it was kinda since last night mainly
Chriso. says:
just how gracious and loving He is
Chriso. says:
just so good to us
Chriso. says:
like yesterday i was sharing with kelly during the dinner thing
Chriso. says:
just so great yknow
Chriso. says:
coz like especially yesterday
Chriso. says:
everything really just broke down minutes before the service
Chriso. says:
it was totally going to pieces
Chriso. says:
and it really made us realise how helpless we are without God
Chriso. says:
despite how much hard work and effort we have or think we have put in
Chriso. says:
in the end we're helpless without God
Chriso. says:
and i was just mentioning also
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
(;
Chriso. says:
how everything still worked out so perfectly
Chriso. says:
actually
Chriso. says:
even BETTER
Chriso. says:
than how we rehearsed it
Chriso. says:
only because it was during that time of breaking down
Chriso. says:
we all managed to put our faith in God
Chriso. says:
and really trusted in Him
Chriso. says:
and i feel that He really made it all happen for that purpose itself yknow
Chriso. says:
to make us realise
Chriso. says:
our helplessness
Chriso. says:
but also His presence with us
Chriso. says:
and to teach us to trust Him
Chriso. says:
and it was just so great
Chriso. says:
soo so great
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
its so great to hear your exhaltation of this Chris
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
it really brings a smile to my face(;
Chriso. says:
haha
Chriso. says:
it brings a smile to MY face dudeee
Chriso. says:
last night
Chriso. says:
i couldnt help smiling
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
and its amazing huh? HAHAHA
Chriso. says:
and seeing everyone smile
Chriso. says:
despite how everyone was so moody before
Chriso. says:
coz im sure
Chriso. says:
that alot of people really felt it
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
our Jubilancy?
Chriso. says:
hahaha
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
yeah definetly! it really impacted the crowed aye
Chriso. says:
just the joy in having God with us
Chriso. says:
mhmm!
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
'bethel youth have come a long way' people kept saying and stuff
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
and to God be the glory!
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
we alway take the presence of God forgranted
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
the great and holy God, the creator of the universe
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
is with us celebrating with us
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
thats pretty cool (:
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
yaknow i was just reflecting on what pastor Charlie said last night
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
and it really truly amazes me
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
the power of God's word
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
and how TRUE it is,
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
that the fact is it has SAVED me from secret sins -that i couldhave wouldve done WITHOUT the word of God
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
more sins i would have commited
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
saved me from eternal condemnation
jewel-Happiness is to know the Saviour says:
how else shall i respond but submit myself to be an unproffitable servant!"